Saturday, December 03, 2005

Christian Hate-Mail: Flying Spaghetti Monster

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism may be one of the world's fastest growing religions. Support for this conjecture may come from the so many UN-christian hate-mail responses (from christians - very small "c") to the Flying Spaghetti Monster website's open letter to several school boards that have been voting whether or not to include a requirement to teach intelligent design as an alternative to scientific explanations of the origin of life, the universe, and everything else.

Below are some quotes from those responses by some of our christian brethren, who apparently can't spell; don't fathom English punctuation; can't comprehend the English possessive case marker; and, apparently, are just as hateful and profane as secular society's worst characters. All quotes following were copied exactly as they appeared.

"you should have the simple common sence to respect other peoples beliefs. making a LAME joke about the the one awnser the one thing your whole pathetic life is base upon CANT awnser is a sign of how your brain is flawed. i would suggest growing up allitle and/or blowing your fucking face off with a shotgun. fucking humans, your all pathetic. you dont know shit bitch." - Andiar Rohnds

"I would like to tell you that i was very offended by your letter, and would like to join the 5% that believes you are going to hell. I did not at all appreciate the way you dipict those who beleive something other than you. Jack ass.
P.S. I hope your genitals fall off and are eaten by three-legged mice with squirrel tails.
P.S.S Ninjas are way cooler than pirates. Jack ass. you're an idiot. I'll pray for you." - Andrew Schmitt

Take your spaghetti monster and stick it." - Kelly J. Coppola, RN

"And if you still think you are so smart and wise,to be above a Biblical God theory, allowt me ask your wife how you really are and it should silence you." - David Dorozan

"What you are doing is truly asinine and I hope you realize the error of your ways soon. And by the way, your case would not hold in court, mainly because no judge in his right mind is going to buy this bullshit. Maybe you should try to convert bush, he is a two year old too is he not? Also, feel free to kill yourself. Sincerely," - james aladar

" When you look at your website and see what it is you're you ever just shit your pants a little bit? I only ask because i just viewed your website, and in the middle, I accidentally made a little poopy. Please help me figure out if this is a serious medical
situation, or if it could just be from the fact that YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED. Thank you." - Dan P Lautersztain

Andiar, Andrew, Kelly, David, james, Dan P - Does your faith encourage you to think and speak like that?

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